God Didn't Bring Me This Far to Leave Me Here

I can't give up now.

There were moments I thought everything was falling apart—doors closing, plans unraveling, and progress slowing to a crawl. But looking back, I can see something I couldn’t see then: I was never abandoned. Every setback, every delay, every “not yet” was shaping something stronger in me. I didn’t come this far on my own—and I’m not being left here now.

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to those of you who have been following along with this journey. The last eighteen months have been long, complicated, and at times overwhelming.

I haven’t been posting as consistently as I would like. Not because this doesn’t matter to me—it does. Writing here has been one of the few things that helps me process everything. But the truth is, life has been stretching me thin.

And lately, that’s been because of school.

Friday, July 17 was my final day of the program. Not really a “day,” though—it was my TSSA exam for the G.2 license. I had to be there for 7:30 in the morning, which I won’t pretend I enjoyed. I’m not much of a morning person, even if that’s when I tend to do my best work.

At least there was one upside—we were first in, so there was no waiting around. No delays. Just show up and get it done.

This program has been a journey in every sense of the word.

I came into it with hope, but I kept my expectations in check. And that turned out to matter, because it didn’t take long for things to get complicated.

In my second week, my co-op placement found out about my past in the U.S.

Just like that, it was over.

To their credit, they didn’t tell the school why they let me go. But that created a different set of problems that were just as hard to navigate. (I’ve written about that experience in another post, and you can see it here) 

For a while, it felt like everything was slipping again.

Like I was right back where I started.

But I didn’t quit.

With some help from the director of the ministry I’m living with, a door opened. He reached out to someone he knew in the industry, and they were willing to take me on.

It wasn’t a typical placement. They specialize in fireplaces and a few niche areas—not furnaces, not boilers. That meant I wasn’t getting the kind of hands-on experience most people in the program were getting.

So I had to make up for that in other ways.

The structure of the program didn’t make it easier. One week in class, one week in co-op. Back and forth. Constant switching. Constant adjustment.

In the third week of April, I wrote my G.3 exam.

I passed with an 88%.

I knew I could do it—but it didn’t come easy.

Then came G.2 in May

And that was a different level entirely.

More depth. More pressure. More information than it felt like there was time to absorb. It honestly felt like hitting a wall at full speed.

The labs helped, but I knew I had to squeeze everything I could out of them, especially since my co-op wasn’t giving me exposure to the full scope of the trade.

So I stayed focused.

I paid attention. I put in the work. And I held my ground.

Around the same time, I made another decision—I left my job at Wendy’s.

It wasn’t a bad job, but it wasn’t flexible enough for what I needed anymore. I had to make a choice, and this time, I chose the long-term over the immediate.

And in the middle of all of that, something else happened.

I started being able to see one of my kids.

That might not sound like much on paper.

But for me, it meant everything.

It was a reminder of why I’m doing all of this in the first place.

Right now, I’m looking ahead.

I want steady work in this field. I want a place where I can actually build something stable. I want a life where having my kids around isn’t complicated—it’s normal.

Because it’s been about four years since anything in my life felt even close to that.

There is a scripture has actually been foundational to me for the last 4 years or so, even when I didn't know it.  In fact, it's referenced on the Down But Not Out Logo.

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed”  2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NLT.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s that nothing about this process has been clean.

It’s been messy. Doors closed. People walked away. Opportunities disappeared the second my past showed up.

There were moments I felt like I was right back at the beginning.

But I’m not.

I’m still here.

Still pushing.

Still refusing to let my past decide how this ends.

I don’t have everything figured out. Not even close.

But I believe God didn’t carry me through everything I’ve already survived just to leave me here.

So I’m going to keep going.

No matter how slow it feels.

No matter how many times it gets uncomfortable.

Because this time… I’m not going back.