Busy, Broke, and Going Nowhere (Until I Asked Better Questions)

Series: Doing Everything Right… and Still Losing

Part 3: Busy, Broke, and Going Nowhere (Until I Asked Better Questions)

Running nonstop… and still going nowhere

There’s a point where you have to be honest with yourself.

You’re busy. You’re tired. You’re doing something every day.

And yet… nothing is actually changing.

No real progress. No real direction. Just motion.

I’ve been there—and if you’re being honest, you might be there right now.

For the past 6 months, I’ve felt my life stagnating.

I was working a minimum wage job at Wendy’s with people I generally couldn’t relate to. I’d wake up in the morning already feeling defeated. Like nothing I was doing actually mattered anymore.

Because the things that do matter? They felt so far out of reach. And honestly… they still do.

I was working under 20 hours a week. Partly because of the Better Jobs Ontario program I’m in, and partly because I couldn’t do Uber Eats through the winter. Which meant I was stuck.

If I wanted to take my kids out to eat, could I do it?

No.

I was broke.

And that does something to you. I started to feel like I was failing—not just as a man, but as a father.

I kept myself busy.

Because we’re taught that busy is good. Busy means productive. Busy means you’re doing something with your life.

But I started realizing something:

Busy ≠ productive.

I was always moving, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. In fact, I was falling further behind.

At some point I had to ask myself:

If I’m running, but still in the same place… am I really moving?

Or am I just a hamster on a wheel?

Money would come in—and disappear just as fast.

I’ve got debt I never even created. That’s a whole other story. One I’m still trying to figure out.

My ex and I barely talk. And when we do, it usually turns into something unproductive. Something draining.

And it felt like that pattern showed up everywhere.

Even simple things turned into problems.

At one point, a mistake with my insurance ended up draining my account—and somehow, it still became my fault in someone else’s eyes.

That’s what it felt like during this stretch.

No matter what I did, I wasn’t getting ahead.

I was getting buried.

And that’s a hard place to live in.

Because eventually, you start questioning everything.

Not just your situation—but yourself.

I started to see myself as the guy who shows up, works, tries… and still loses.

Trying ≠ progressing.

Not even close.

Then something shifted.

I realized I was asking questions—every single day.

But they were the wrong ones.

I kept asking:
“How do I get through today?”

But the real question was:
“How do I stop living like this?”

If I wanted better answers, I needed to ask better questions.

And the truth is, I should’ve known that already:

“Ask, and it will be given to you;
seek, and you will find;
knock, and the door will be opened to you.”
— Matthew 7:7

Not just ask anything—but ask the right things.

That changed everything.

I had to zoom out.

Look at my life honestly.

How was I spending my time?

Did it bring me joy?
Did it bring value (money)?
Or was it fulfilling an obligation?

If it didn’t fit into one of those categories—it had to go.

No more excuses.

Then came the harder part.

I had to re-evaluate my routines.

A lot of them were built when I was homeless—when I had nothing but time.

That’s not my reality anymore.

Now, time is limited. And I can’t afford to waste it pretending old systems still work.

So I started making changes.

Real ones.

Including walking away from the relative “stability” of my Wendy’s job—for the sake of flexibility and forward movement.

That wasn’t easy.

But neither is staying stuck.

I don’t have everything figured out.

Not even close.

But I know this:

If I want different results, I can’t keep doing the same things.

So now I move differently.

Less reactive.
More intentional.
More strategic.

I lean on people who’ve been where I am—and made it out.

I learn from my mistakes.

But if I’m being honest, I’d rather learn from someone else’s.

That’s where I’m at right now.

Still in it.

Still climbing.

But no longer pretending everything is fine.

No longer burying my head in the sand.

And that awareness?

That’s where things actually start.

This post was originally post on Medium. See https://downbutnotout.medium.com/busy-broke-and-going-nowhere-until-i-asked-better-questions-1c647af5f3ae