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Rebuilding My Life After Setbacks: Progress No One Sees
No breakthroughs. No spotlight. Just showing up anyway.
This is what rebuilding actually looks like
I didn’t think I’d be coming back to a check-in post this week—but here we are.
On the surface, nothing about this week looks big. No major breakthrough. No big moment.
But underneath it, a lot shifted.
What stood out this week
I found a replacement co-op placement through the director of New Connections Ministries.
I’m grateful—more than I can really put into words—because I was under a lot of stress about this.
I knew what I had riding on this program. This wasn’t just about getting through a course or landing a better job down the line. If I failed this, I wasn’t just walking away disappointed—I’d be walking away in deeper debt, carrying even more weight while trying to rebuild a life that already hasn’t been easy to put back together.
That was sitting on me heavy.
So to step into a new placement, even in a short week because of Good Friday, and have things go well… that mattered. A lot.
Not flashy. But real.
Something that’s been weighing on me
Losing my co-op ties directly into something bigger that’s been put in front of me.
My ex-wife suggested that I change my name.
That’s not a small decision. That’s identity.
On one hand, there are some very real, practical benefits. The reality is, my name carries a history—and not all of it works in my favor. The “Google problem” is real. It has cost me opportunities before, and it likely will again.
Changing my name could remove that barrier. It could open doors that have been closed before I even had a chance to walk up to them.
But that’s only one side of it.
The other side is my kids.
My name is the same as theirs. That connection matters to me. And the reality is, their names aren’t changing. So if I change mine, that link shifts—and I don’t take that lightly.
So this is where I’m at:
Caught between the opportunity to move forward… and the weight of what that might cost.
This isn’t just a practical decision. It’s personal. It’s identity. It’s legacy.
And I don’t have a clear answer yet.
So if you’re someone who prays, I could use that right now.
What’s been on my mind
One thing I keep coming back to is how I make decisions now compared to how I used to.
There was a time when I made almost every decision on my own. No input. No guidance. Just me, doing what I thought was right in the moment.
That didn’t exactly lead me anywhere good.
Now, that’s changed.
I lean on people. I ask questions. I listen. I try to learn from people who have more experience, more wisdom, or a clearer perspective than I do.
And as I look at that shift, I can’t ignore what’s behind it.
God has been very intentional about who He’s placed in my life—and who He’s removed.
Some doors have closed, and at the time, I didn’t understand why. But now I’m starting to see it differently.
He’s not just closing doors.
He’s opening the right ones.
Even when it doesn’t feel obvious right away.
This is part of what I’ve come to think of as my “quiet normal.” Nothing dramatic. Just steady, intentional movement in the right direction.
Thematic scripture for this week
Zechariah 4:10
“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…”
Looking ahead
This week isn’t big or exciting on paper.
It’s work. School. Church. Whitestone. Bible study.
Structure. Routine. Showing up.
Nothing flashy.
Just staying the course.
There’s nothing big to celebrate this week. No breakthrough moment. No dramatic turnaround.
Just showing up.
And right now, that’s enough.
**Please note, unless otherwise stated, all images on this site are AI generated and do not resemble any real persons(s). Any resemblance to any person or place is purely coincidental.**
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