Blending In, But Never Belonging

I take pride in blending in. Apart from my backpack, I look like anyone else walking through the city. I keep myself clean, showering almost daily, and my clothes are in good shape. Hygiene matters to me—it’s one of the few things I can control.

But homelessness isn’t just about where you sleep. One of the most frustrating challenges? Finding a bathroom. In downtown Ottawa, public restrooms are scarce, and many businesses require a purchase just to use one. I understand their concerns—some people misuse the space. The drug crisis is impossible to ignore. Open drug use is everywhere, especially downtown. But when you need a bathroom, it’s not a choice. It’s a basic human need.

Recently, my oldest gave me a crisp new shirt and tie from her school’s clothing bank. A simple but brilliant system—you give what you don’t need and take what you do. I never wore ties in my line of work, so I pulled up a tutorial and learned how to tie it. The small victory felt good.

Today was warm enough to ditch my sweater and jacket, so I walked through the Glebe in my new shirt and tie, feeling just a little more put together. I stopped at a Tim Hortons on Bank Street, one I don’t usually visit, and headed for the restroom. Locked.

The manager saw me and said, “We have a big homeless problem in Ottawa.”

Tell me about it.

It’s a strange feeling—to take pride in looking like I “belong,” yet still be reminded that I don’t. At the end of the day, I’m still part of the “problem” they’re trying to keep out.

A little empathy would go a long way.

Note: AI-generated image.